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13.08.2013, 20:39:15

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[War] might be avoidable were more emphasis placed on the training to social interest, less on the attainment of egotistical grandeur.


13.08.2013, 12:10:51

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Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'


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We don't make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.


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How can I believe in God when just last week I got my tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?


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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, 'Why god? Why me?' and the thundering voice of God answered, 'There's just something about you that pisses me off.'


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I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.


12.08.2013, 23:15:27

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There are many kinds of people in the world. Are you one of them?


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If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he'll understand why some people think golf is exciting.


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Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.


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We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.


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If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?


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Computer /nm./: a device designed to speed and automate errors.


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A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.


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You're about as useful as a one-legged man at an arse kicking contest.


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The belief in the possibility of a short decisive war appears to be one of the most ancient and dangerous of human illusions.


11.08.2013, 23:20:37

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Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don't work, those that break down and those that get lost.


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Yes, I'm fat, but you're ugly and I can go on a diet.


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We're going to turn this team around 360 degrees.


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Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.


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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.


11.08.2013, 12:16:36

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It is only those who have neither fired a shot nor heard the shrieks and groans of the wounded who cry aloud for blood... War is hell.


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In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.


10.08.2013, 23:23:26

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Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.


10.08.2013, 23:23:14

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I can write better than anybody who can write faster, and I can write faster than anybody who can write better.


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